Fathers and Daughters

This past weekend I had the privilege of going home to see my family. It was crazy time full of laughter, fun, childhood friends, and an old fashioned square dance. Even with all the fun planned the first thing I wanted to do on arriving was run into my father’s arms – and stay there!  The last few weeks of ministry have been rough and challenging to say the least and nowhere on earth do I find a place which holds more physical security and peace than in the arms of my Dad.

Knowing I had a rough few weeks, Pops arrange to take me out on a date. I love daddy dates by the way! As one of 7 daughters, a date with ‘Papa’ as we endearingly call him is always special. My Dad was my first date at age 14. It was fun then – but looking back now, it was monumental in my life.

Fathers, whether they know it or not, are the first to speak value and identity into their daughters. Girls learn what is and is not the normal way to treat and be treated by men from their dads.

There is a lot of weight to the thought that girls marry and date guys like their dad. Not the same professions, looks, or personality but character traits – lazy or hard working, a leader or a follower, etc. Sadly in unhealthy abuse situations girls don’t think they are worth more than the way their dad treated them.  Unless they do a lot of work to readjust their thinking – they will often marry abusers as well. I 've had teens I work with break up with really amazing godly boyfriends and their only reason is that the guy was too good for them. They didn’t know how to react when they were treated like a lady.

Women seek approval, acceptance and worth from men. Since the fall, it’s almost an ingrained trait in us. If we don’t get it in a healthy way from our dads (and ultimately the Lord) we will turn to other men (and boys!) to get it or even rebel to the point of lesbianism and desiring that approval from other women.

My Dad “dated” me all through high school; he told me and showed me that I was worth something - I was loved, beautiful, accepted, and wanted. He not only emotionally affirmed me, but intellectually and spiritually challenged me as well. I didn’t have much of a desire to date in high school because I knew how a guy should treat a girl and most of the guys in high school wanted only one thing. Thanks to my Dad I knew I had something worth waiting for and had many things to offer a godly man someday.

My Dad and I don’t have a perfect relationship but four years after leaving his roof and living independently, I thank him for giving me feet to stand and wings to fly. Ten years after my “first date” I asked my dad why he “dated” me then and now. He said “as a young girl I wanted you to get your affirmation from me and not look for it else where and now – well I knew you just needed some Papa time”. Thank you Pops.

Men, if you’re reading this, please date your daughters. Work on the relationship, as we might not always want it but we need it. Show us we are worth fighting for. Don’t have daughters? Little sisters, nieces, cousins and the single mother’s daughter down the road all need you. Girls in your youth group need you. Women respond to men and vice versa – it’s way easier to display godly femininity when godly masculinity is shown to us. We absorb actions without realizing it. Men, girls need you!

Girls, I know it’s not always easy to be friends with your dad, and maybe you don’t have a dad that would ever “date” you, but your dad needs your affirmation as much as you need his. Guys are all about respect – if you blow him off he’s not going to ask to do anything with you again anytime soon. Girls, let your dad or a dad figure in your life love you. Encourage their efforts – its not easy being a dad and they don’t understand your emotions any more than you do at times.

Cut him some slack and show your dad you want to be loved by him. He’s not a mind reader – ask him. “Dad – think we could do something together (and name something specific) – it would mean a lot to me if we did...” And girls, pray for him. If you don’t have a dad or maybe you have an abusive one, he’s hurting too – pray for him and then seek someone else out to be a “dad”. I have a “second dad” closer to where I live that I can bounce stuff off of.  What a blessing this man is to me!

One last thing – Dads will always fail you. I love my dad - he’s my hero, but he is no more perfect than I am.  The Lord never fails though and the acceptance and identity that come through Him can never be taken away. If you haven’t had a good experience with your dad, seeing the Lord as a father is a difficult thing to do but I challenge you – good or bad Dad experience – to ask the Lord to be a Father to you – to show you what a perfect Father looks like. He is the ultimate safe place for us to be weak, to be safe, to be secure and to have peace. He never disappoints and I fall in love* with Him more every day. I encourage you to date your dad and/or your Heavenly Father.




*Check out my blog on "Falling in Love with Jesus!?!"

What Are You Waiting For?

When it comes to sex, why are we waiting?  We are told not to have premarital sex, we’re told to be pure and save ourselves. But why? We’re told sex outside of marriage is wrong and maybe sometimes we’re told about diseases or adverse emotional effects – but why are we told to wait? Why does the Bible say it is wrong? What and why are we waiting for?
In Dannah Gresh’s newest book, “What Are You Waiting For – The One Thing No One Ever Tells You About Sex?” she answers those questions and more. She explains the “why not” and the “just don’t”. I received this book for free from Waterbrook Multnomah’s Blogging for Books program to read and review it for them. It is by far the best book I have ever read on sex for young women; and although written for women, some guys would really get a lot out of it too. It combines scripture, science and real life examples.

Gresh is also not afraid to tackle the hard issues of porn, homosexuality and masturbation.  She does a great job of being real, without getting graphic. Her word studies into the Hebrew and Greek make scriptures come alive as you hear God's heart on human sexuality. This is a MUST read for all unmarried girls* and young adults.

I highly recommend this book for youth leaders – it is a big tool we can use to address why we wait to have sex. There are discussion questions in the back if you choose to use it as a small group curriculum. It is designed more for the individual but can be used for small groups. God doesn’t say no to spoil our fun, He says no because of …. Well – you’ll just have to read it!

Parents, if you have older teenage girls or young adult daughters this book will be a huge resource to you both. It’s the most balanced, biblical and scientific blend on purity that I have ever read. And it’s not just for girls who haven’t had sex yet. It speaks to young ladies wherever they are at. Get it. You will be glad you did!


*Due to the content of the book I wouldn’t recommend it for girls any younger than 16 unless the parents have read it first or the girls are mature.

Is

Is. The state of being. Who you are - we are - right now, in this moment. Present. We only physically live in the state of “Is”. Yet we never really do. At least I don’t.  I’m always dwelling on the ‘what was’ or the ‘what can be’. I never stop and live NOW. Right here in this very moment as I write this, or the moment you are reading it. The “is” of our lives.

I’ve missed so much.

No wonder we aren’t happy or satisfied, always looking for more.

We’re missing the only thing (and the only One) we can really, physically have. The state of being – of “Is” and the I AM.

“This is where God is. In the present. I AM – His very name…. I AM, so full of the weight of the present, that time’s river slows to a still… and God Himself is timeless. It’s not the gifts [that He has given us] that fulfill, but the holiness of the space. The God in it … This is a supreme gift, time, God Himself framed in moment. [“Is”] … time is only of essence, because time is the essence of God, I AM. This I need to
consecrate: time.” – One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp

Can I learn to do that? Concentrate the now?

Right now “is” the only moment I have love Him. Here I can “Yada”* my Lord!?! The I AM?

If He is present I want to be also.

Today I am learning this. Learning how to simply be**.  He’s the one that created me to be, is He not? “Your hands have made me and fashioned me, give me understanding that I may learn your commandments.” Psalm 119:73.   Who has He made me right in this moment? Can I worship Him by just being?

I ran away to Lake Ontario yesterday to take a step back, to stop long enough to see a moment to be.  I found joy in simply being – joy in delighting in the small gifts of I AM.

Delighting in who I am now – a 24, single, young woman. I have the freedom to just take off – can I not rejoice in this season?  Feel the cool sand between my toes and the waves that chase my feet back to dry ground as I dwell on Him? Here with me on this beach – present - I AM?

I want to capture these moments and live them because He is HERE.  The wind calls me higher as I swing like a child. I thank God for seats big enough for adults and I pump higher and higher as my toes soar towards the budding trees.

 The sun is calling to me and my sunglasses take flight of their own and plummet to ground below.  I revel in the wind as it whips through my now loose hair making it feel like a flowing ebony mane as it tangles behind me – joy.

As I hike along the lake searching for a resting place, I silently thank my parents for my name. My given name means pure water.  I marvel at how much closer I feel to the I AM when I am next to water. He is here.

Cresting the horizon is a grassy knoll that over looks the lake with a field of dandelions – the perfect resting spot. I am over come with an irresistible urge to rejoice in the now - in dandelions. My fingers itch – can they remember how to weave a dandelion crown?  

How silly – a grown women weaving flowers in the middle of a field. How delightful. Right now in this moment I don’t care who sees. The I AM is here. I put the crown on in awe of how He clothes the grass of the field and how much more He clothes and cares about me.  He is here.

Do you remember how fun it is to play with your shadow? If we are created in His image are we not also His shadow? Left to testify of the imprint of His light in this world? Here too, is the I AM.

He is waiting to delight in you as well. Turn around – the I AM  “is”.

*Yada - Hebrew meaning to know and be known, respected... Check out this blog for more.
** This blog has not been edited on purpose - dwelling on being now - in all it's imperfect and glory.
Thanks to One Thousand Gifts for the inspiration - it's a must read!

A Paradox of Love - Yada

Love – it’s predictably unpredictable. It confuses me, exhausts me, drives me, gives me direction, and defines me. There is no formula for it, yet love is a tangible reality.  It can be defined but not completely grasped. Love can be found and chosen, given, received, rejected, manipulated, crushed, grown and squelched.  People both live because of it and die for it. Love defies boundaries and constraints; but can’t thrive without them.  It is fluid and at the same time absolute. Love is the pinnacle of life and the paradigm of Christ.

Love is caught in the release, a passionate balance, and an endless energy. It intentionally decreases for increase and holds back to bring freedom. Love is instinctive and taught, but never bought. It breaks and heals, blinds and brings clarity, bids and forbids, calls and answers, fights but doesn’t force. It’s sexual and it’s platonic, unconditional and intimate. It’s a choice and it’s a feeling. Love is knowing and being known. Never was there a concept that held so much power, definition, dimension, and conflict of meaning united under one word.

I am a person who loves definition and clear direction – I long for black and white while I live in a world of gray. I serve a God who is clothed in rainbows of color and depths of mystery. I prefer extremes; to live passionately by standing on one side. Yet the paradox of love demands a balance – a center in the irony of those extremes. 

One of the mysteries and paradoxes of love is knowing and being known in the very intimate recesses of our lives and hearts. It’s not just a physical/sexual knowing but a knowing – an accepting and embracing of the very essence of a person.  The more I know of love, the more I discover there is to know – more mystery. It frustrates me and entices me at the same time. In the last two years I have known and experienced every one of the above paradoxes – and know in another year I could probably re-write this after experiencing them all over again.

I recently uncovered a small bit of the mystery while reading Dannah Gresh’s newest book* . One of the Hebrew words for “know” is also a word used in scripture as both a sexual love and a deep knowing love – “Yada”.  Adam lay (yada) with his wife or in some translations –knew (yada) his wife and she conceived.

“Yada is ‘to know, to be known, and to be deeply respected.’ What an amazing thing God thought about sex. That it was to be something that causes us to deeply know another. Without alluding directly to the physical act of sexuality, this word points to the deep emotional quenching I long for in the act of sex.” pg 17

We all long to be loved, known and have that deep emotional longing in our hearts satisfied.

“Yada is a word that transcends the physical. It describes the whole knowing of a person. It portrays an uncovering and an embrace of the nakedness of another. There is no secrets, and nothing held back.” pg 24

That is connection worth having! And by the way – “yada” is not always used in Hebrew for sex – in cases of incest or rape “shakab” is used – meaning ‘an exchange of bodily fluid’. There is no knowing or respect there.

Yada is also a pre-knowing or seeking – it’s not just an accepting and respecting of the now.

“Before there can be yada, there must be a quest… The quest of a heart propelled by true love not selfish desire. ‘Think of it as a before love.’ Before love is a yearning and searching for someone who does not yet reciprocate this love.” pg 22

While that is beautiful in sexual realm, it’s even more so in the emotional and intellectual realm. Sound at all like what the Lord does for us? He sought me out before I knew Him. He knows every bit of my nakedness, brokenness and loves me anyway. In Him I am known and free to be me – the way He made me. Nothing I do surprises Him. He “yada’s” me!

Here is the mystery of the love that blows my mind – Note the use of the word “know” transliterated from “yada” in Psalm 46:10:

“Be still and know (yada) I am God.”

This stopped me in my tracks. God wants me to know Him the way He knows me?!? My Lord who is clothed in rainbows of color and depths of mystery wants me to yada Him? This isn’t a creepy, sexual “Jesus is my boyfriend” thing. The Lord wants me to deeply know Him. Embrace every part of knowing of Him - the sides of Him that I don’t yet understand and that make me uncomfortable. The very paradox of who He is – Almighty, God, omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient, Sovereign, Friend, Lord, Savior, Father, Judge, merciful, righteous, holy and I AM. The Beginning and The End (now there is a paradox!). He won’t fit into a box of my making and the depths of His love certainly won’t either.

I’m learning to embrace the paradox of love in it’s entirety as the mystery of a God who yada’s me and wants me to yada Him.  He woos my passionate heart and brings me to a balance found in Him alone. He is the paradigm and author of love and as such the balance of the paradox is found in Him.


*Dannah Gresh's Book : “What are you waiting for? The One Thing No One Ever Tells You About Sex”

Boys and Pink Toenails?

This past week J. Crew released an ad picturing a mom painting her son’s toenails a bright pink.  The caption with the picture read “Lucky for me, I ended up with a boy whose favorite color is pink. Toenail painting is way more fun in neon.”  Is it way more fun though? Many people are asking what the big deal is. So a mom decides to paint her son’s toenails. If the little guy wants pink toenails what’s the harm? What sister out there hasn’t convinced her little brother to hold still long enough to practice on his nails or hair? It’s all innocent fun and advertising.

Or is it? A picture paints a thousand words and what can be easily written off as a person’s creative choice often heralds a much deeper sentiment and meaning. The controversy surrounding this ad simply brought to the forefront the ongoing confusion in our culture regarding gender and gender roles. Is it a sin to paint a boy’s toenails pink? In and of its self I don’t think so.
But when we look at the whole picture there is a lot wrong with it. Our culture is bent on making everything gender neutral, from the clothes we wear to the jobs we hold and the people we marry.  The world screams – “defy all odds – be anything you want to be – be the unique you!” Well that’s great until we have a whole generation of people trying to be different and unique – in the end they are all the same.

We all want equality and uniqueness.  Isn’t that how the Lord created us? Uniquely and at the same time equal in value as male and female?  Sin has distorted and abused that uniqueness, but it is still beautiful. We are trying to fight and at the same time recreate the very thing we already are! Why are we trying so hard to blur those lines? 

The harder we try to be gender neutral the more confused we will be come. In fact “confused” is now a label to describe someone’s sexual identity.  It’s not just conservative Christians that are concerned about where this cultural trend will lead us. Psychiatrist and Fox News Contributor Dr. Keith Ablow weighs in on this ad:

 “This is a dramatic example of the way that our culture is being encouraged to abandon all trappings of gender identity—homogenizing males and females when the outcome of such “psychological sterilization” [my word choice] is not known.

In our technology-driven world—fueled by Facebook, split-second Prozac prescriptions and lots of other assaults on genuine emotion and genuine relationships and actual consequences for behavior—almost nothing is now honored as real and true.

“Increasingly, this includes the truth that it is unwise to dress little girls like miniature adults (in halter tops and shorts emblazoned with PINK across the bottoms) and that it is unwise to encourage little boys to playact like little girls.”   I highly recommend you read the rest of his article.

We are created uniquely male and female for a reason and purpose. It is something that should be celebrated not discouraged.  Sure, sometimes I don’t love being female. I resist the good, God-given tendencies that come with being a woman.  On the flip side, as part of the curse “my desire will be for my husband.” As a woman with a fallen nature, I will always desire to control my husband/men around me. Not an attractive thought. Men and women have aspects of their gender that they don’t like – but it is never an excuse to neutralize and homogenize ourselves to the point that humanity is one confused grey vacuum of monotonous clones. 

If we embrace the uniqueness of our genders and the equal-but-different roles that go a long with them – I think we will find that the very thing that is perceived to hold us down in our culture (our genders) is the very thing that will set us free to be unique.  Picture a kite. Without the string that grounds it, the kite would never fly. Sure, without the string it might catch the wind and soar a few feet – only to dive bomb back to earth in a matter of seconds.  Embracing the uniqueness of our genders is like the string.  It allows us the freedom to fly.

Be you. Be the real you and wear pink nails or guys jeans if you want. Just don’t get sucked into being so ‘different and unique’ that you are lost in that grey monotony of being gender neutral. Try first to embrace and express yourself in a way that is unique by focusing on something that already makes you different from roughly 50% of the population – your gender.

Our culture is dive-bombing. Grab a few kites and remind them strings are ok. The next time you see a boy playing Cowboys and Indians or a girl playing dress up – encourage them in it.

Modesty Today

The balance to be attractive and modest is a struggle for many women. I have been wanting to write on this for a while and in my research on this topic, was pointed to a friends blog. This is the best blog I have read on modesty and I have been given permission to share it with you. I am excited to guest post Charissa Strobolakos's blog "How Then Shall We Live?". I pray you are as challenged and encouraged by this as I was. Enjoy.

"I honestly don’t feel I have any original, corrective or insightful thoughts to contribute – that’s not the purpose of this blog. This is my attempt to work out, in my own head and heart, the role and definition of Christian modesty.

Chastity. Purity. Modesty.

Those are beautiful words. Intimate, sacred, even holy words.

They thrive in silence;
but our culture has lost the ability to keep a secret.

We market everything. We sexualize everything. We speak everything. We critique everything. We voice everything. We post everything. We film everything.
and yet, for all our sharing, we remain isolated – individualistic in our thinking; loners in our living.
We’ve lost sight of the souls behind the sculpted bodies, the hearts behind the athletes and the people behind the lyrics.

We’ve reduced ourselves to a jeans size, number on a scale, job title, athletic abilities, degree,bank account, talent, possession or relationship.

When all that remains, matters and defines us is the external we can’t afford to be modest.
Purity can’t be separated from its accompanying traits of respect and love. When we isolate skinny jeans, boxers and bikinis as defining factors we strip the word of its full power;
Modesty is a meant to be a lifestyle of sacrificial love.

As Christians we should excel in this area – driven by a deep love for our God, our neighbors and ourselves. Too often, instead of abiding in a grace-filled attitude of chastity, we Christianize cultural standards of modesty (or what remains of them);

That’s when clothing sizes become the benchmark of purity, swimwear decides holiness and accomplishments determine spiritual value.

We become human doings not human beings.

It takes courage and humility to live with modesty. The lifestyle described in 1 Thessalonians 4:11 is so counter-cultural it’s humorous; “make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: you should mind your own business and work with your hands”.
Jesus summarized that way of life with the simple command to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and, love your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27).

Scripture is not replete with commands on dress and modesty because appropriate attire and attitudes are a natural byproduct of a love-filled heart.

Let us learn to love each other’s souls.

At times, there may be an appropriate place to correct immodest behaviors; whether they be in dress, words or actions. We should strive to receive and give such corrections in grace, evaluating our own motives and recognizing our own weakness.

Much of this sounds idealistic, even to its author, but it’s what we’re called too. It’s what is best.
The body is a beautiful creation. Sexuality is a wonderful gift. Intimacy is crucial to healing, growth and joy. Vulnerability and safety are the stuff of life. We’ve embraced counterfeits of each by clinging to the false intimacy and shallow acceptance which accompany immodesty and blatant sexuality.
Is it any wonder the world, and many Christians, are lonely? When beauty, sexuality and intimacy are exploited, reduced to momentary thrills and external definitions they are incapable of satisfying our souls.

Our cultures obsession with immodesty is a revealing testimony to its perpetual dissatisfaction. Always seeking the next salacious person, story or thing (and that’s all any of it truly becomes; things).

Let us be people defined by our God.

That is achingly difficult. For me, it’s a fight every single day.

Biblical modesty is simpler when understood as “loving one another” – it’s simultaneously far more complex when it encompasses every moment of our day.

Purity is a daily battle.

Modest living, Biblical living is surrendering the need to achieve, to be “the best”, to be defined by the external, to dress in a way that demands attention, to be known for our successes. It takes humility.
Loving people as they are, wading through each others brokenness, refusing to satisfy our lust with each others bodies, confronting our own sinfulness. It takes courage.

God, give us a deep appreciation of simple things. Let us delight in hard work, sacred secrets and the beauty of silence. Lord, refine our hearts to crave purity and authenticity. Give us the courage and humility to live with modesty; trusting our reputations to you and not our efforts; Give us your mighty grace to sacrificially love each other."

Thank you Charissa! To check out other thoughts from Charissa please visit her blog: Old Enough For Fairy Tales.

Soul Print

 I love to read – I mean I really LOVE to read. I’m not happy unless I have at least 3 books going at once.  It was getting to the point where I was wondering if I could “afford my habit”! I recently discovered “Blogging for Books” from Waterbrook  Multnomah Publishing Group. What a Godsend. They send me a book for free and I write a review for it. Simple and sweet!
So because of that, I’ll be adding some book reviews to this blog. I hope you will be encouraged to check out some of these books. They have encouraged and challenged me. What we read, watch and listen to now, we will be in 10 years. What are you putting into your heart and mind?
__________________________

Mark Batterson’s newest book Soulprint: Discovering Your Divine Destiny hits a home run. I’m a Mark Batterson fan to begin with, but this is my new favorite. Soulprint is all about discovering your identity in Christ. It is not a self-help or self-discovery book in any way; rather it addresses the importance of recognizing the way God made you and the situations He used to form your character. From divine pauses to defining moments each season of our life has a purpose in God’s plan and like a fingerprint, we all have a unique ‘soulprint’.  Yet so many of us, if we will be still long enough to admit it, are desperately insecure about who we are.

Why do we as human beings waste so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others?  Mark says “When you play the comparison game, no one wins!  It results in either pride or jealousy, and both of them will cause you to compromise your integrity.” (p. 88) We are each created unique, for a unique purpose and destiny.  Batterson recognizes the only way to discover yours is through the Lord and His word: “If you want to discover your soulprint, you’ve got to begin and end with Scripture.” (p.135) Mark uses many scriptures and examples such as David to lay out the plan for discovering your own divine soulprint.  I highly recommend this book. It’s an easy read and yet it challenges you to live out who the Lord is calling you to be.
I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.  For more information or to purchase Soul Print - check out Amazon.

I've Seen I AM

And now I know who I am. 

Have you ever known who you are? Like really known and then been ok with to the point of celebrating that knowledge?

I came away from Focus Leadership Institute this fall more sure of myself and who I was in the Lord than I have ever been in my life. It was a holy confidence with a byproduct of peace that emanated from every fiber of my being.  I knew who was in the Lord. I knew what He had done for me and in me – because I had SEEN I AM. I spent time in His presence where the description goes beyond words. I was beginning to know and see the person He made me to be. I didn’t know where life was going to take me, but I knew the God that would take me through it.

That was 100 long days ago.

Somewhere during the last few months the peace in my heart began to erode away. I was a very changed person walking in the shoes of my old life – same apartment, same job, same church and same circle of friends. Nothing there had changed and yet I had. I didn’t see life the same way anymore.

Have you seen I AM? The Lion of Judah?

The way in which the Lord met me in Colorado shook me to the core because I saw aspects of His character that I came to know and love in the Lion.  C.S. Lewis called him Aslan in his Chronicles of Narnia. Like Eustace of those stories, Aslan stripped a lot of layers off of me. It was painful. It was real. It was worth it! As the layers of Katie fell off, I was left with nothing but the raw realness of who He made me to be. I understood in a tangible way that His thoughts were higher than mine, that His words were deeper than mine and His love was stronger than mine. It is no sacrifice to serve Him!

Yes it is painful to be stripped bare and laid broken – but the true healing on the other side and the understanding of more of who He is – nothing compares to that. What thing in this life with any great worth is easy? The beautiful thing with brokenness is that when we are broken the only thing that remains is Him.

Jonathan Helser wrote a song that best describes this time of my life:

I looked into the eyes of a lion
Felt the courage in his gaze
I heard him roar my name with passion
As I buried my tears in his mane

I looked into the eyes of a lamb
I saw love face to face
I felt grace destroy my sin
As mercy flowed from his veins

I’ve seen I AM, now I know that I am loved
I’ve seen I AM, now I know who I am

I knew who I was because I knew HIM. I saw I AM. I didn’t define my life. He did. The only problem is every day since I have been back to NY I wake up longing to see the Lion. I have searched for Him, wept with longing to know Him in that way again. Do I know why He has been hiding in the shadows? No. But I trust Him still. 

The thing with seeing I AM is you can never go back. You know that you know that you know that He is real.  And once you have let Him strip the layers away, a casual relationship with Him is a useless waste of time.  There is no room in life for complacency or mediocrity. Five minutes of scripture and prayer in the morning doesn’t cut it. Every fiber of your being longs for Him with such intensity that nothing else matters.

Several weeks ago I went to NYC and took a picture with the Statue of Liberty. Walking down a grey street in Manhattan on the way home a verse from Galatians 5 went through my head about liberty: “It was for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm therefore…” Was this why I hadn’t seen I AM? Was I letting those layers build back up? Hiding the real, raw me? Had I let the familiar surroundings of my old life choke out the new me? I had. It was in that moment on 42nd street I felt the Lion’s presence. I went back into the hotel and wept.  He hadn’t stayed in Colorado while I had moved on. He was with me.

I don’t know how often I will feel His presence that deeply in my life. But I will look, wait and long for it. If it means being broken – then I will be broken.  If it means that will be restless until I rest in Him, I’m ok with that too. This agony in hungering for Him is worth the taste of His presence.  The more I long to see Him the more I realize how much more there is to see!

Rich Mullins wrote “If I stand, let me stand on the promise that You will see me through… If I weep let it be as a man longing for his home.” I weep longing for my home. When you encounter I AM this way it is hard to describe. You can’t fully put it into words; the work is too deep. But I can say I want to go home, and I want you to come with me. If you don’t long for home, don’t know who you are, or haven’t seen I AM – please ask the Lion to reveal Himself to you.

“Is He a tame Lion?”

 “No, but He is good.”

“Your real, new self…. will not come as long as you are looking for it. It will come when you are looking for Him” C.S. Lewis

Perception

As the sound of tires leaving the driveway faded into the distance I turned to survey my kitchen. Mounds of dirty dishes and leftovers scattered everywhere left tell tale signs of a crazy weekend and a large pizza and movie night. With a deep sigh of contentment I turned to the sink and mumbled something about how I loved washing my dishes.

A loud gasp pulled me from my thoughts “You LOVE doing dishes? What’s wrong with you?!?” My 14-year-old sister who was spending the night with me looked at me in aghast, horror. How could someone possibly love doing dishes?

In an instance I flashed back 10 years to growing up on the farm as the oldest of the then 10 children. We didn’t have a dishwasher but at least we had running water and I didn't have to pump it by hand. I’ve doing dishes since I was old enough to fight with my younger brother over which stool we were going to use to reach the sink to do the dishes.

Dishes were THE bane of my existence at 14. I hated that chore with everything in me. It was my turn to look at my sister in surprise. How much my perception has changed in 10 years!

My world was so small the simple task of a mound of dishes had the power to make or break my day and world then. My world got a lot bigger in the last few years. I’ve seen heartbreak and hardship, evil and pain. But I’ve also seen the Lord’s provision, faithfulness, mercy and love.  Because of the chaos of life, the simple act of cleaning dishes is a small joy for me now. In a way - restoring order to the chaos of the kitchen brings security and pleasure.

What a change of perception. The same chore and the same mess - yet what a different feeling and way of seeing them. I couldn’t help but wonder, will the problems in my life today that drive me crazy and make or break the kind of day I’m having, still be there in another 10 years? Or will these perceived problems bring pleasure and peace?

Of late, I have been praying for a “heavenly perspective” in my life. I want to see life as the Lord sees it. I know I’ll live life differently when I do! Ephesians 3:17a says “And I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power with all the saints to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ…” What would it mean to grasp the love of Christ? What a perception change and action change that would be! The ‘grasp’ here is transliterated from the Greek word ‘katalambano’ meaning to obtain, attain, take hold of; seize, or overtake. What would it mean in my life, in your life, to obtain and attain the meaning of Christ’s love in our lives? To seize the love He offers? Not just in comprehending that love, but acting on it. To take hold of the opportunities to love, serve and minister to others that love would provide?

I’m currently helping as the assistant costumer for a large drama production of The Miracle Worker*, a story of the early life of Helen Keller - a girl blind and deaf from shortly after her birth. Through the persistent love of a teacher Helen learns to grasp how deep, long, high and wide the world is through sign language. Her perception changes, as language becomes her vision with which she can see the world.

I want the Lord to become my vision with which I see the world. How often do we all stumble around in our little worlds, trapped by the darkness of our problems because we are too stubborn to let Him be our vision and perspective?

Oh that we may grasp His purpose, vision perspective and meaning in our little worlds.  I worry about finances, school, and direction for my life – while across the world people are shattered from an earthquake, facing death, lack of shelter, food, radiation poisoning and more… How small my problems are!  There is a dying world out there and we are too wrapped up in us to see it. His perspective has the power to restore peace to chaos, meaning to discouragement, hope to despair, and dishes into a meeting place with Him.
Be thou my Vision oh Lord of my heart!



* The Miracle Worker - Performed at Family Life, March 10-19, 2011
** Photo Credits - Christine Britten

Call it Out

Several months ago I met a man named Jason*. He made a lasting impact and drew out the best in me without trying. Jason was a gentleman to the core; with full hands he opened doors and I never walked behind him - always in front or beside him. His respect for others and love for Jesus emanated in everything he did. Yes, Jason’s words reflected his love for the Lord, but his actions made the impact because he was living out who the Lord made him to be .

 By the end of the evening, I wanted to be more feminine and I desired to have a greater love for the Lord.  Why? Because in walking rightly before the Lord, Jason couldn’t help but call out the best in me. A brother in Christ without trying, called out and challenged this sister in Christ simply by the way he lived.

A question has been haunting me since that night; what if I reversed this situation? Am I living in such away that calls out the best in my brothers and sisters in Christ? I throw the question to you: Are you living in such a way that inspires people around you to want to love and know the Lord more? More specifically - ladies, are you living in a way that encourages the men in your lives to be godly leaders? I've been blessed to have other brothers in Christ encourage me too, but do I encourage them? Does our personal model of femininity, call out or squash a man’s masculinity?

Like it or not, the Lord created us to be male and female for the purpose of being masculine and feminine, to bring Him glory in it.  In asking if the way you act calls out the masculinity in the men around you - I’m not talking about what you want a man to be or your version of masculinity.  I’m talking about principles of godly masculinity, not personal preferences. A few of those godly principles being – an ability to lead (be it quietly, generously or passionately,… there isn’t only one “right” way to display leadership), a growing walk with the Lord, a desire to provide for and protect his family and friends, a respect of people in general but especially women and children… The list goes on, but you get my point.

If a man’s masculinity offends us, maybe it should. For instance, if a man is being a gentleman and opens the door for you, our culture says “I am perfectly capable of doing it myself” (a.k.a. I am woman – hear me roar)”. Well yes, we are capable and they know that. It’s not chauvinistic when a man chooses to be a gentleman by opening a door.  If you are secure and strong in who you are as a woman, then you won’t need to prove anything. We tell them to respect us, yet we don’t let them. Opening a door is respecting us.

Enough of what we do wrong – What can we as ladies do right to encourage and allow our men to be who the Lord made them to be? The greatest thing we can do for anyone around us, men and women, is to first live out our convictions and to walk in righteousness before the Lord. When we are on target, pursuing the Lord with everything we are, it will naturally flow out into the lives of others.  When we live authentically, we challenge others to do the same. It must be done authentically though - encouraging a guy to manipulate him, or ‘catch a husband’, is not authentic encouragement!

I surveyed a variety of guys** and asked them this question: “What can the women in your life do that will inspire you to walk in godly masculinity?” Here are some of their top responses and things we can do or live out:

A woman who:
    -  Passionately serves the Lord and is 100% sold out for Him.
    - Prays
    - Respects him and his input (especially in front of others).
    - Challenges and encourages him by asking questions (appropriately) about his walk with Lord. “What has the Lord been showing you lately?”
    -Allows him to be a gentleman, providing for and protecting her, and treats him as a man, not another woman (and does not expect him to act like or relate like another woman would).
    - Is genuine and authentic, giving him a safe place to be the same.
     -Doesn’t mother, nag, compare him to other men, or accuse and undermine his leadership.

Ladies, we want to be treated with love and respect, why can’t we do the same for our men? Instead of pointing out what they are doing wrong, point out what they are doing right. Love them for who they are now - imperfect as we are, and love them for who they can be – made perfect in the Lord. 

As I was blessed to have Jason and other men call out the godly woman in me, let’s call out the godly men in the men around us (men, I'm not saying you aren't godly already :) but so “that we may be mutually encouraged by each other's  faith, both yours and mine”. (Rom 1:12).

Hebrews 3:13 says “exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today’”.  Well it’s still today, so who are you going to exhort and encourage? – Go live it out – authentically! 

*Permission was given to use the story, but names have been changed for privacy

** Thanks to all the men who answered the questions. It’s been a pleasure to learn from you the last few months. I respect you and thank God for you, as I was very challenged in listening to all your stories.  Please accept my apologies for all the times my gender and I, have disrespected you. For the many godly men in my life – Thank you Lord. 


Photo Credits