For Today - Called to be Single

I’ve always been very hesitant to write blogs on singleness. But I'm going to be brave and might even write a series of them! Writing on singleness is a taboo thing to do. And if I do write about it, will I be lumped with in with all the desperate needy singles? If you’re not needy, but still have the desire to be married, not talking about it is the easiest thing to do. Why talk about something we want but can’t have, when it only serves as a reminder of it?

The problem is, it IS healthy to talk about it. We don’t need to dwell on it, but talking helps keep perspective and lends encouragement. If you’re single I hope this encourages you, if you’re not, maybe you gain perspective to encourage your single friends. Peek with me through this window?

You can desire to be married and not be ashamed of it, or come across as needy and desperate. For the longest time I didn’t realize this. The Lord has brought me through various seasons of singleness from being completely content to really wanting a partner in ministry, companionship and a family.

What do we do with those desires though? Most singles handle them one of two ways, they either bury those feelings and turn try to turn them off (I’ve been guilty of this) or they become so consumed by these desires that it controls and rules their life. They start to become the desperate single.

There has to be a middle ground somewhere! How do we live a healthy fulfilling life, while still having the desire to be married? We’re not supposed to stuff the feelings – God’s design is for family, but we’re not supposed to dwell on them either. Do they sorta just sit in our minds like a nagging itch? That doesn’t sound very exciting either!

I recently heard the phrase that has become an answer to those questions for me. It is: ‘ For today, I’m called to be single’. That blew my mind. Here is the balance. We don’t need to stuff the feelings or dwell on them, but we can learn to live with them. One day at a time. Some day, hopefully we will get married, but in the mean time, we are called to be single. But for now, He has a purpose, plan and timing just like He does for every other season. If your in the single season than you are called to it for now, for today. So get excited! He has called and wants to use me/ us NOW.

So the next time someone asks me “you seem like a nice person, why are you still single?” I’ll simply say, “For today, I’m called to be single.” Instead of what usually runs through my head along the sarcastic lines of - “because I eat small children! Why do you think I'm still single?"

Be careful too of comparing yourself to others. I fall into that trap at times. I’ve had quite a few very close friends get married, or engaged in the last two months. More of my close friends have someone than not. It’s so easy to start complaining and feeling lonely and left out. The Lord really convicted me of this; “But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.” 2 Cor 10:12 Wow. How often do I compare myself with my friends and wish for what they have? The Lord has me and (maybe you) on a different path. For today I am called to singleness and need to focus on that and be thankful for the opportunities He has given me.

I can deal with singleness if there is a purpose to it. God isn’t finished with you or me yet in this season if we are still single. He hasn’t given us this season to waste. How can we live intentionally to make the most of our single years? Yes, we will still get lonely at times but we will in marriage too. Marriage isn't an end all either, but simply another season the Lord will have us walk through. There will be challenges there too. :)

Rick Warren says it best: "Longing for the ideal while criticizing the real is evidence of immaturity. On the other hand, settling for the real without striving for the ideal is complacency. Maturity is living with the Tension” – How are you living with the tension?

Oil & Water Do NOT Mix

It all started with mozzarella cheese balls. Than again, maybe it didn’t. I think it all started with God’s grace and mercy. I could / should have full body burns but I do not…. His protection was over arching.

So I was super excited about trying to make authentic Greek deep fried cheese balls for our class dinner. (I’m still ticked all my spices and breading burned up! Grrrr, I really worked on those!) I’m still not sure why the oil caught on fire but it did. As soon as I noticed the oil was on fire I tried to put the flames out by putting the cover back on the pot. The flames were too intense and the cover was propelled back off, so I reached behind the pot, shut the burner off and moved it away from the heat. The microwave is above our stovetop and was beginning to blacken so I tried to move the pot to the sink in order to better contain the flames. (Don’t worry; I wasn’t going to try to put it out with water!)

During all of this, the fire alarm is going off, and my shocked roommates are running over and trying to find out what’s going on. Does any one know where the fire extinguisher is?!?

While moving the flaming pot to the sink, I didn’t see that the faucet was dripping. One drop truly does cause an explosion. When I realized my left-hand was on fire, I threw the flaming pot with my right-hand back onto the stove. This caused the oil to splatter all over the floor/stove/microwave and toaster. WHOOOSH is what happened next as the oil and oxygen met and burned in a flash flame. I slipped on the oil, fell to the floor and tried to crawl out of the kitchen. I was wearing an ankle length dress (which I rarely do around the apt) and it caught most of the oil- protecting my legs and bare feet. I have a few very minor burns on my feet, but it could have been so much worse! I also had just removed my metal rings (one of which was worn on the finger that was burned the most severely.)

At this point, several things happened at once (1) My roommate, Lindsey came out of the laundry room (behind the kitchen) and slipped on the oil too. I’m so glad she did though as dropping to the floor took her out of harms way and the flames on the stove that she could have walked through.

And (2) through this I heard the sweetest sound of the night - the smashing of glass as my other roommate Kensi found the fire extinguisher outside our apt. and broke the glass to get it. She is a hero!

Again the Lord stepped in, because neither of us remembered how to work a fire extinguisher. I took it from her and my hands just acted on their own as the Lord and adrenalin took over. I sprayed several times before I was able to get the flames out.

It wasn’t until we stumbled coughing outside, that I really noticed my hand and fingers. It didn’t take long to decide to go to the ER – as I watched my hand swell and change color.

It was my first (and hopefully only) trip to the ER as a patient. I have 2nd and 3rd degree burns on three of my fingers. The biggest concern and prayer right now is my knuckles in regard to scarring. If it doesn’t heal right, it will prohibit mobility in my fingers later on. I went to a hand specialist today and got a splint to help reduce the swelling. I meet with him again next week once the swelling goes down. He’ll hopefully be able to help me start working on bending my knuckles again. (This is a pic of my melted/fried fingers in the ER before the Dr cut the skin away.)

He may be a specialist, but I also know that the greatest Surgeon of all times has been hearing your prayers! I should be in so much more pain than I am right now. Thanks you so much for your continued prayers for healing!

The Lord has surrounded me with wonderful friends who are driving me places, changing my bandages, washing my hair and giving us places to sleep and feeding us. I am blessed. My prayer is that He will get the glory through this!

(And this is the picture of my fingers today at the hand specialist.)